What men really want in a woman

I recently had a conversation with some female friends over the weekend, and tried to explain to them the "universal" things men desire in women. I shared with them a partial list, but not much of a detailed explanation. I know that I am a helpless romantic and looks at the world through flawed glasses. So, let me preface this by saying these are my thoughts and mine alone, but I sincerely believe that the vast majority of men the world over think in these terms. Even if you look back on those failed relationships in your life (excluding where guys cheated or mistreated you - you are far better off without those jerks), you might recognize some areas where you can improve existing or future relationships. This is my Valentine's wish for you all.

 

Fit into their partner's life

Whether it is real or imagined, the one instinct men possess is knowing how he fits into a woman's life. If she makes time for everything else but him, the relationship is almost certainly doomed for failure. Allow him to be a part of your life and he in turn will do the same for you (even if your life is super busy). The implication is if there is no time or effort  made for us being together, then our relationship isn't much of a priority.

 

Appreciation

I cannot stress this enough. Your partner needs to know that he is appreciated. Smile a little more when he is around, whisper encouraging words, hug him when he gets home. I know this all sounds simple, but you might truly be surprised by how much the little things pay off. If he sees that you can appreciate the little things he does, typically the more he wants to do for you. We are born with a genetic disposition to please women. If he has been mowing the lawn all day, don't be afraid of making him some iced tea or lemonade.

 

Inspiration

Typically, we fall head over heels for women that inspire us. So if you don't know how to inspire someone, read everything you can about Michelle Obama's life, and try to replicate it. :) President Obama didn't get to where he is without her. Be the reason he wakes up in the morning, the reason he hears beautiful melodies when he thinks of you, the reason he exists.

 

Chemistry & passion

If Einstein were to create a formula for long lasting relationships, he would have to include these two components. Chemistry - the characteristic that holds two objects together as though they were one such as magnetism. Passion - the raw energy produced by two things drawn together.

 

There has to be the greatest degree of honesty

If there is something he needs to hear from you (make sure it is you bearing the news). The reverse is also true. Your husband/mate/partner needs to know that he can come to you with absolutely anything (especially if he has made a mistake). This is the hardest thing to do for most men since we generally do not communicate as much or as well as women. We do not like exposing our flaws.

 

Loyalty

One of the greatest characteristics men admire most is loyalty. I think that is literally why so many men own dogs. We like knowing that through thick and thin, that someone has your back. When you accept a guy as your partner, you should also accept the "us against the world" mentality that goes along with it.

 

Confidentiality & Trustworthiness are must haves 

What is said between the two of you in confidence (be it good/bad), should remain that way. I certainly wouldn't want my wife (if I were married) telling the world we won the lottery. Your most intimate secrets/arguments/etc posted online will only exacerbate any problems you may have between you. If you need a third (unbiased/impartial) party, seek professional counseling. Everything is not meant to be blogged about, tweeted, or posted to Facebook. There is this little thing called discretion (which most high schoolers don't know) that no social network seems to promote at all. If you must share thoughts or news to others not involved in a relationship, as a courtesy - clear it with those in the relationship first.

 

Show respect

I don't know when it became fashionable to throw out expletives in general conversations (even among strangers). I probably missed that memo, but the impression that it departs on most rational people is that (at a minimum), they can't control their speech. Respect is earned not given, and surprisingly we all don't think it's cool or mature to hear words thrown about like that randomly.

 

Be supportive

I honestly believe (at least to a certain extent) that our relationships are like investments. Typically, the more you put in over time, the more you get in return. 

 

Nurturing 

No man (let me stress this once again, no man) wants to be with a woman who is uncaring and shows no maternal instincts whatsoever. 

 

Willingness to meet halfway

Halfway as I am defining it does not mean 50/50. It means being flexible and empathetic to each others plight and emotions. Hopefully, on most days it is 50/50, some days it may mean 30/70 or 80/20. It just depends on the circumstances. Life ebbs and flows with both good and bad, and both parties need to be mature enough to handle that if they are going to make the relationship work.

 

Beauty

Not saying you have to look like Paula Patton, Gabrielle Union, Meagan Good, or sing like Toni Braxton (although that never hurts) just know your strengths and weaknesses. We (those generally 30 or more) actually aren't looking for the perfect physical specimen of a woman, just one that we can love and adore. Believe it or not, women actually place more emphasis on their looks than do men. We do not like fake anything, just take care of the attributes God has given you. Even woman with extraordinary physical attributes can carry themselves with humility (that really turns a guys head, those are the ones we marry). Every woman is not a fashion model or iconic actress, but practically anyone can exercise and carry themselves with dignity and class. I know lots with purely stunning looks, but some of their attitudes are so atrocious that I would not encourage anyone to ask them out. Your demeanor says volumes about the person you are, and men actually observe this. 

Posted via email from Cuttlefish Encounters